So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
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