chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
