So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Randomize
