Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
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