This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
