should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
