Texts From Last Night

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  (905): View more from Toronto

  Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?

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  (905): Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray? http://tfl.nu/uvnt
  Replies (32) Good night (4593) Bad night (1216) Order T-Shirt
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  (530): View more from California

  I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS

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  (530): I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS http://tfl.nu/jjgj
  Replies (36) Good night (4905) Bad night (1322) Order T-Shirt
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.

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  (612): Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy. http://tfl.nu/a2lr
  Replies (72) Good night (994) Bad night (4456) Order T-Shirt
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.

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  (860): when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage. http://tfl.nu/ckot
  Replies (212) Good night (715) Bad night (10405) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.

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  (203): There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game. http://tfl.nu/0we4
  Replies (20) Good night (4887) Bad night (913) Order T-Shirt
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  (559): View more from California

  The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.

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  (559): The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway. http://tfl.nu/e3fd
  Replies (7) Good night (2527) Bad night (727) Order T-Shirt
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.

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  (715): I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers. http://tfl.nu/5ulf
  Replies (3) Good night (2168) Bad night (763) Order T-Shirt
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.

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  (+44): he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway. http://tfl.nu/6dio
  Replies (8) Good night (2675) Bad night (598) Order T-Shirt
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Im 95% ready to shit behind 711

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  (360): Im 95% ready to shit behind 711 http://tfl.nu/2mf3
  Replies (4) Good night (1072) Bad night (1990) Order T-Shirt
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.

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  (306): Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's. http://tfl.nu/a874
  Replies (6) Good night (2731) Bad night (479)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.

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  (724): She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail. http://tfl.nu/o810
  Replies (13) Good night (556) Bad night (2590)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Coming to you live from the floor of my office..

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  (919): Coming to you live from the floor of my office.. http://tfl.nu/0ate
  Replies (2) Good night (1197) Bad night (348) Order T-Shirt
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.

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  (443): Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack. http://tfl.nu/wgh7
  Replies (5) Good night (1016) Bad night (314) Order T-Shirt
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety

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  (401): I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety http://tfl.nu/pik8
  Replies (2) Good night (735) Bad night (261) Order T-Shirt
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.

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  (814): He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me. http://tfl.nu/md2z
  Replies (2) Good night (1185) Bad night (319) Order T-Shirt

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