Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.