He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
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Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
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He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again