i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket