thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
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