Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Ketchup is God's man juice
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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