Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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