yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Found your dick twin last night
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize