I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
whose parrot is this?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
