what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
