You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
