i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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