i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
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