this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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