I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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