That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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