highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
