Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
