a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
We have started to decorate penises.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
