I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
