Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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