everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
whose ass print is on the piano?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
