I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
