i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
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all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
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He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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