it's like heaven, but drunker
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
