i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
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