my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Randomize
