Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
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