we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
