this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal