Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO