remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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