@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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