True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
