Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
