don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
