Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
