That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
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that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
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I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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