Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
