So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
