if i can run in heels then i can drive
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
