I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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