just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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