nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
