What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize