You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
My vagina is officially offended.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize