Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
this is an emotional support booty call
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
