i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
4 words: hood of his car
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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