I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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