I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Randomize
