To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
