I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whose parrot is this?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize