forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
