Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
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