That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
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