Will you blow on my dice?
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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