the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
