i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
