like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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