Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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