life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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