I have demons in me.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
