omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
