My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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