omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
