All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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